I bear [C] lots of animosity to bell hops,
They [F] never bring my luggage up on [Dm] time.
And [G] taxi drivers really tax my [A7] patience,
If they [Dm] vanished, would it really be a[G] crime?
I don't like [C] meter maids or underwater welders,
[F] Health fanatic cooks, or camera [Dm] crews!
Not fond of [G] monks or yoga teachers, or [A7] sports fans in the bleachers,
And I'm [Dm] not sure how I'm [G] feeling about [C] you!
There are [Am] lots of horrid [E7] people on this [Am] planet,
That [Dm] I would love to give a lashing [G] to,
But my [C] goody two-shoes brother, the [F] favorite of my mother,
Is the [Dm] one I want to smother In a [G] ton of pigeon [C] goo!
Yes, my [C] goody-two shoes brother, the [Am] favorite of my mother,
He's the [F] one I want to smother, thank you [C] sir, I'll have a[A7] nother!
He's the [Dm] one I want to [G] smother, in a [Dm] ton of [G] pigeon [C] goo!
